oh mickey you're so fine

i love mickey rourke and you know what i don't even really care that his face is all mangled up now. i would still smash. honestly, just watch some mickey rourke movies. the man was beyond FINE. and maybe i'm fucked up for thinkin dude still looks good with that fucking outfit on, but i do. i love him.

sade

i am sooo ready for this album to drop. her last came out when i was a freshman in highschool, so it's been a grip, like ten years. sade is obviously off the hook and imma love her, forever. if my ass ever gets married, "by your side" could be the wedding song. it's the sweetest.

xmas

i don't like christmas. and it aint cus i'm a scrooge or clinically depressed. it just aint my thang. everyone gets stressed out. spending money they don't have. santa clauses at the mall give me the heebies. having kids sit on a strangers lap. like what kinda dude wants that job. no way am i lettin my kid go near that. see ya later. and christmas decorations are maaaaaad tack coming from a chic who loves tackyass shit but let's be serious red and green as a color scheme, i'm all set. it just don't look good. christmas music, not really feeling it. i guess there are some things i like... wreaths. they smell good. i like the little drummer boy and i guess i like baby jesus too. human nativities are kind of fun. the charlie brown christmas song is nice too. the island of the misfits from rudolph, like them. and those popcorn tin things with the three flavors, i'll fux wit one of those. and i like stockings.

oh hey, hi

sooo i took a bit of a hiatus. whatever. my writing sucks and we got like 6 people reading the shit anyway (i love all of you dearly) but it's about to be 2010 and since 2009 blew dick let's hope for something better... and i guess i'm back to fucking with this shit. maybe p and margot will contribute some posts in the new year. laaaaadies!

candyland

blow pops are kinda wack. these commercials were my childhood jump. but i'm sayin tootsie roll pops, they might be forever. i also like dum dum pops.

ice t

i've been watchin a shit ton of law and order. SVU, criminal intent. whatever the fuck. i catch that shit on TNT, USA, NBC. i could possibly pass the fucking bar exam at this point. i sweat the plot twists, and wit SVU, ICE T. i love that dude.



i sang the chorus of this song to the doctor that prescribes me my meds the other day.

but big ups to ice t for sleeping wit coco, for colors, for fucking body count, i used to make out wit an exmans listenin to that shit, for being a contestant on celebrity family feud, for leprechaun 5: leprechaun in the hood and for being that kangaroo shit in TANK GIRL.

jam of the week

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yhASu2OjEcQ


shit was on gossip gurl the other night. and lemme just say that show has fallen the fuck off.

wamp wamp

kanye and gaga cancelled their tour.

MJ

this gave me the chilly willy's.
AND peeeeeeeep the SHOULDER PADS.

a reminder...

in case you forgot about mya's jams.



and i mighta been a little too old for this rugrats shit when it came out. whatever. still sweated it.

funny honey

she really is a clown. haaaaaaaha.


and i'm mad corny.

garbaaage

i don't know how i forgot this before, but added to my list of hate, THE BLACK EYED PEAS. talk about loathe.


will.i.am is the worst.

ghostface

new album cover is ridiculo.




i used to love ghostface, but i don't know if i can really fux wit him anymore.

!!!!

things i am excited for:

the true blood finale on sunday.
gossip girl premiere on monday.
it's always sunny on thursday...

and, yes, that's it.

86'd

so. i've compiled a list of things i hate. the list includes but is in no way limited to: the sorta new snickers ads. theeey suck. worst ad campaign, ever. TYRA BANKS and really any tyra affiliates... ANTM, her talk show, the word "fierce". she is just so wack. made up words ending with "licious" e.g. bootylicious, like, really? don't do that. DR. PHIL. he needs a serious ass beating. white chocolate, so gross. running into people you just ain't tryin to see. waiting in line, anywhere... the club, the grocery store, the dmv, wherever the fuck, lines suck. traffic. AND finally, when there's no soap in a public restroom.

fingers crossed

call me a dreamer, a loser, whatever, but i definitely got outta bed today just to go to the convenience store to get some quick picks for the fucking megamillions lottery AND i've been fantasizing all week about winning that fucking jackpot. and sure, i'd like to be a philanthropist and give money to libraries and public schools and restorative justice programs and agencies for women's reproductive rights, but i mean, let's be serious the GEAR that i would buy would be ridiculo. AND the crew would take a VACATION to turks and caicos or the island of capri and rock some pucci dresses and get drizzed. and then i also would kinda wanna get a fly winnebago and drive across the country and see hot springs and buffalo and mt rushmore and yellowstone national park, with some camping, cus i like camping, but fuck a motel 6. i don't know. i guess the latter i could make happen without winning the lottery, but whatever, jus sayin, my fingers are crossed.


update: i didn't win the lotto

new year

september pretty much marks the beginning of a year for me and mostly it's because for the last twenty fucking years of my life i've started school in september. and sort of like women being the new men, imma maybe go out on a limb here and say september, it's the new fucking january. so. with all that being said, i would just like to give a FUCK YOU to this past year. THUMBS DOWN. it has been hands down one of the hardest and saddest years of my life and i know all the people i love feel me on this. everyone has had a tough fucking year. AND i'm over it. september is upon us. here's to something better. i love yous.



check out this fake ass picasso wit a thumbs down! i mean, it ain't his, but i'm feelin it anyway.

what the fuck

i am being terrorized by house centipedes.

tea party

this shit is DELICIOUS over ice. it's a black tea and elderflower flavoured vodka. it's so fucking good. i'm not sure where it's being sold, but i really want a bottle before summer ends.

mad men

i watch a lot of late night tv, i'm kinda like a fake insomniac. last week was pretty fucking sleepless so i managed to watch thirteen episodes of mad men on demand... thirteen episodes, and i still can't decide if i even really fucking like it... the show is such an on point period piece, it's the early 1960's and there's lots of US history, which i really like, you know, the space race, the cold war, JFK, the cuban missile crisis, the civil rights movement, gender oppression, etc... but honestly the show sorta hurts my softy feelings. there's mad infidelity and it's jus mad cruel to women and i know thass how it was, but still. if anyone has seen the show, i'm sure you'll know what i'm talking about, the sweetypie secretary that gets rashed on by everybody, well, she jus really breaks my heart... the costumes and make up and hair are INSANE. so big ups there. the women on the show just all look soooo GOOD and the men are real handsome.


will someone i know watch this? please and thanks.

ass ass titties titties ass n titties

her bathing suit is on some other shit, but again, i gotta give it to amber rose and that ass.

old crush

i have a lot of love for mariah. and breakdown may be one of my top five mariah jams...



but this post ain't really about mariah, it's about layzie bone and how he was fine. like really fine. HA.

wow

well, this shit is bananas


......

letting shit go, over-rated

so i been thinking a lot about letting shit go, and you know what, i've concluded that there are some things that can not be and should not be let go until someone gets punched in the fucking face.

my shit list includes, and is by no means limited to the gay boy who outside of a diplo show at the middle east called me fat or to the wack bitches who tagged me as "YIKES" in a facebook photo from one of them 90's jams at middlesex or to the chic at a redman and raekwon show who was acting like a fucking flooze and pinched my ex-mans cheek and told him he was adorable as i held his fucking hand. i told that bitch that i would fucking kill her and homegurl, course, scurried off wit the quickness... but i was still plotting a tackling attack on her the whole way outta the avalon. i saw red. all of these people really made me angry and you know what, while most of the above i can recognize as being real stupid offenses, some people jus needa learn how to fucking act. and if you ain't coming correct, you needa get banged out.

family matters

i watch family matters, A LOT. i jus wanna give a big up to steve urkel for always trying to make laura happy, aw steve, and for creating the fucking smooth and fine, stefan urquelle. i'm sayin the urkel dance was the kneeees and i totally remember seeing it for the first time on TGIF and being like ohhh shit, that's cool. on the real, i think i had it recorded it on VHS and tried to learn the moves myself.


the other night i caught a CLASSIC episode with new edition, they swooooon hariette and bobby brown and urkel dance together. and fuck it, i fucking love bobby brown too.


AND you know who else was kinda the man? waldo.

loves it

i fucking neeeeeeeed these.

ohhh aubrey

bitch kinda makes me wanna gauge my eyes out.




how you gon do eddie murph like that? i'm not even sure why i'm hating on her so hard cus i definitely watched the danity kane break up special on mtv AND felt kinda sad for her, and i did think she looked good in a cheap, wet seal kinda way in complex magazine... whatever, the point of the post is that the song SUCKS. and she's wilin.

birthday gurl

appolonia is fucking fifty today. that's bananas. happy birthday to one of the flyest chics to ever hit the block. AND fuck that, purple rain forever.

breasts are small and humble so you dont confuse them with mountains

this chik is the only girl that dance like a fucking psycho and look ridiculously good. god damn shakira

Shakira - New Music - More Music Videos

a gift for you...

a gift for you, julia.

THIS IS WILD.

if i was a wealthy gurl

if i was a rich gurl, i would have this... but i am no rich gurl. shout out to all my broke bitches with dreams.

um, yes

i make a reference to saved by the bell maybe like once a week.

solange

what are you thinking gurl?

yessssssss

i fucking love freddie krueger. his quotes are so good. he's just the man, plain and simple. and i am pretty fucking excited for the movie. jackie earle haley, the dude who played rorschach in watchmen and the diddler in little children is freddie. he's a total creep.

observation

so i used to think alicia silverstone was like really really fucking cool. obviously clueless, i still love that shit. and when she was the psychobitch in the crush and puts the used condom inside of her and says the dude raped her, that was bananas. and then the aerosmith music videos and the really kinda creepy one with liv tyler stripping, you know it being her daddy's video and all. anyway, i really liked her.

and now she's kinda washedup and super vegan and does this PETA ish.

gaudy ass shit

i am tryin to recreate this look. at least with the stacked watches.

new do

rihanna can do no wrong in my eyes.

HOLD UP!! WAIT A MINUTE!

OK ASH! fuck sally hansen nail pens i found the shiiiiit! OK SO i love youtube makeup tutorials even if im not even doing it i just enjoy watching them i will surf through all the channels, through the scene girls to the southern pageant chiks and today while sitting in my towel i came across some nail ones and what did i discover on my youtube adventure? this shit called konad nail art! ash you know this recession has taken a toll on our nail game and i have found the the solution to all of our problems!

http://www.konadnailart.com/?gclid=COSEpdX92psCFcZM5Qod-3hR_w!

yooooo

we gotta get this

nina skye

gurlies got new hair dos, stayin forever fly.

the mj sleep mask

the shit is scaaaryy.

bun in the oven

rye rye's having a baby.

no, gurl, no

i ain't tryin to hurt or insult, but this clear bar strap shit is jus fucking unacceptable. it ain't right.

gimpy

bitch needs to cut it out.

gaahbage

um, for real?

cool it

gaga with chola-esque brows? this bitch don't have it like that.

what the fuck

is elle serious?

likey

american apparel sometimes brings it and yeees, i'm really feelin their chambray jumpsuit.

people make mistakes

amber rose, you know i got you gurl, but what is this? you're lookin like a tropical skittle wit the new do.

dag

aww, shucks. rest in peace VIBE. so sad to see you go.

puttin dudes on a blast

what the fuck is up wit jermaine jackson being a kool keith doppleganger? and TELL ME that this dudes "hair" hasn't beeeen sharpied onto his muthafuckin head!?

oh guurrl

my girl from apt 41

what kinda shit is this.

ok so i have been guilty of liking ok.. i might even confess to lovin the drake song "best i ever had" but this video is bookaki. i got nothin against fly chiks with tig ol bitties and video hoes however what the fuck is the concept behind this shit? and apparently kanye directed it.. im just puzzled as to how this dude who played a kid in a wheel chair on degrassi thought this was a good idea for his career..and wait..is that buckwild from flavor of love at 2:52?

wishlist

so if p wants an easybake oven, this bitch wants a muthafuckin bedazzler.

easybake

On a typical day off i will spend the day in a sort of semi-comatose state, whether it be from overeating or overdrinking the night before. Well today it was from the first. I really will eat almost anything and you know what i want right now a fucking easy bake oven cake.

boooootiful

amber rose is still bringin it.
glad she dropped kanye's punkass.

disappointment

so i was pretty fucking excited for anna sui's gossip girl inspired line for target. but lemme jus say, the lookbook, well, it ain't looking good.

never can say goodbye

when i was little wittle, i loved michael and the moonwalker movie and macaulay culkin and bubbles, the chimpanzee. RIP wacko jacko.

i want it now

alexander mcqueen glove clutch. killen em.

some siskel and ebert type shit

i love eighties flicks. always mad tit.

fucking speechless.

i dont really know what to say. this boys mother needs to call a priest or some shit.

haters

so i seen mad celebs rockin this dress on the celebrity blogs and there's been a whole lotta hating. i totally disagree. this dress is fly and yo if i was a skinny fucking bitch and had $2000 G's, i'd cop.

hotdiggetydog

hot dogs are bomb. do not hate.

home away from home

i jus wanna thank gourmet express for always being there for me when i've needed it the most.

jem

so when i was little this was one of my favorite shows. it was on USA. i had a jem doll that had these little red earrings that lit up AND i also had the mini jem convertible car and the shit had a fucking AM/FM radio in it. jem was the singer alter-ego of some corporate chic and on some shit, that little bitch, hannah montana, yo, she's the fake jem, same storyline, except hannah montana sucks dick.

goody got whip

so everyone who knows me knows i just got my license. AND i'm 23. AND that the only reason i got my license is cus the the dude administering the test was feeling my mums. bonnie was my secret weapon. needless to say i'm experiencing some shit all my other friends did at 16, you know like wanting to cruise all the time, speeding, whatever. AND when i cruise i bump mad classic rock. this is one of my all time favorites.

true blood

come to my crib sunday night for the season premiere.

simpsonsweeties

i love the simpsons. me and joanna once busted our asses doing like a fucking 1000 piece simpsons puzzle. and this past year i wrote an e-mail to a teacher when i was struggling saying that i kept having these fucking homer simpson moments but it was really lisa who i wanted to be like. AND on some shit i've had dreams where i was a little yellow simpsons character and fuck that, that was long before you could make yourself into one with the movie promotional website shit. i wanna be marge for halloween, my gurl melissa was her once in elementary school, or fuck it, try to convince p to be patty and selma wit me. and you know what is crazy is this shit has been on since i was wittlelittle toddler. twenty years. AND the cast were all inside the actor's studio one night and yo, a woman does the voice of bart.


that shit really surprised the fuck outta me. AND i'm sure i'm not dropping any simpsons knowledge here, as i know most feel the same way about the show as i do but i still felt like showing it love.

the hangover

go see the shit. it's real funny. i mean some of the shit i coulda down without, e.g. the mike tyson cameo, i mean, like really? i woulda much preferred seigfried and roy, but whatever, thass jus me... AND the premise of the movie, you know, like, what the fuck happened last night!? is one I THINK all of our drunk fucking asses can relate to.

do not sleep

there will be no hating, cus i know all you bitches love this song as much as i do. AND love juliette lewis more. whatta babe. mad movies she's been in i absolutely fucking love. natural born killers is one of my all time faves and then this 90s flick that she was in called last night AND i don't know if anyone caught the hbo movie she did wit uma thurman, hysterical blindness but that shit was real gooooood. i mean, she just stays killen em. AND you know what?! i seeeeeen her buying groceries at the whole foods near my crib rocking some adidas sweatpants and shorties limo was def parked outside. so get em juliette. sweatpants and a limo. i respect that.

unfunnyhoney

so imma fucking say it, sacha baron cohen just isn't funny anymore.